Sovok of the Week

Dec 4 It’s finally happened! Thanks to my hard work and nimble fingers, I have managed to pilfer enough grimy Euro banknotes from the backpacks of German hikers so that I can finally leave Bulgaria and return to the land of my dreams, AMERICA!! No longer will I have to rely only on [...]

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Even though I’m in Bulgaria and far removed from the daily operations of SOTW headquarters, I still keep “up to the dates” courtesy of the internets. The wonder of “email” allows me to maintain close contact with our home offices and also permits Loyal Readers to seek my advice and counsel as needed.
I’ve been [...]

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I cannot wait to leave Bulgaria. As you know, my current plan is to save up enough money so that I can afford to return to America and re-make my fortune. Of course, saving money is hard here in Bulgaria. We don’t get too many visitors at the youth hostel where I [...]

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Ever since I wrote that piece on my world-class Gzhel dentures, my virtual e-mailbag has been bursting “at the seams” with anxious inquiries from devoted readers. “I collect Gzhel! Where can I get a set of Gzhel chompers?” “This would be a perfect gift for my old aunt Masha — please [...]

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Reading Misha’s piece last week got me thinking fondly of our beloved Radio Sovok producer. Misha, you see, like many young men who came of age during the glorious Soviet Union, has a set of teeth that are broken and malformed, to put it kindly. To put it not so kindly, his teeth [...]

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If you’re like me, you’ve already begun wracking your brain thinking about what’s going to happen to Russia in 2008. The constitution, of course, prevents Our Beloved President, Vladimir Putin, from seeking another term in office. What will happen to a Putin-less Russia? I don’t even want to think about [...]

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We don’t get Ch 17 in Bulgaria. In fact, we don’t get anything past Ch 2. And there’s nothing on Ch 1, come to think of it. But if we did get Ch 17, I’d be certain to watch Vadim’s Art Fair footage. I’m not sure how it will do [...]

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While I’ve been baking on the beaches in the hot Bulgarian sun, Vadim has been busily assembling virtual care packages to send my way. Mostly in the form of readers’ questions. Judging from the voluminous correspondence we’ve received at SOTW in the last few weeks, you people are having a hard [...]

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It’s August and that means it’s a special season for all true sovoks. It’s vacation time. In years past the entire SOTW crew would pack their bags and head for the beautiful sandy beaches of Bulgaria. Often, we would reserve a whole wing of a luxury hotel and feast on [...]

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Greetings, Dear Readers, it’s your old friend Boris, reporting from my sick bed
at the Mayo Clinic. As Vadim informed you last week, I had been feeling a bit "under
the weathers" following a recent bout with a bowl or three of Salad Olivier
on Bastille Day. I felt fine at first, [...]

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Sorry to disappoint, Dear Readers, but there will be no new story for today. I have a medical appointment in Southfield this morning and had better run if I want to catch Dr Freddy before he takes off for a long weekend. Don’t worry, I’m the picture of health (at least by Voronezh [...]

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I usually have all sorts of stories to share with you, Dear Readers. But I don’t know where to begin. Yes, there was a baby-crawling championship race in Serbia. Yes, a new museum for “broken hearts” just opened in Croatia. Yes, there have been all sorts of giant turnips and enormous [...]

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This morning I was going to share with you “Dear” Readers a very amusing story from Komsomol’skaia Pravda concerning a young Muscovite boy who got his head stuck inside a pickle barrel. But when I arrived at the SOTW editorial offices (now forced to relocate to cheaper digs, distressingly nearby the Berry terminal at [...]

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As a confirmed bachelor, I don’t know anything about birthing babies. But scientists in Slovakia do! My crack research team reports that Slovak sovoks recently conducted a study to see if music can help newborn babies cope with the traumas of delivery.

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Sovoks love caricatures. It makes perfect sense. By drawing a caricature you are acknowledging someone’s essence and character traits while also, of course, highlighting all their flaws and failings. What could be more sovokish?
When I’m not composing obscene chastushki (rhyming couplets), I often try my hand at sketching humorous caricatures of local [...]

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When (if?) you get to be my age, you think you’ve seen it all — the fall of the Soviet Union, the end of the Cold War, video-game playing grandmothers, Britney Spears transformed from spandex nymphet into a flip-flop wearing trailerpark mommy. But today’s story, Dear Readers, is a new one even to your [...]

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It seems like it was just a few weeks ago that I was giving thanks here on SOTW for a fruitful and productive year. And now I am sitting here in my flooded apartment, cursing my unlucky fate. How quickly our fortunes can change in this topsy-turvy game of Life!
Loyal reader(s) will remember [...]

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By the time you read this story, it will be the day after Thanksgiving, the traditional time for American families to eat leftover turkey sandwiches before piling in their gas-guzzling SUVs and head to the mall in search of materialist Christmas gifts for everyone on their “list.” Of course, we at SOTW [...]

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Dear Readers, in the interests of fair journalism permit me to say that the story I have to share with you this week may be shocking and repulsive. In fact, if it so happens that you are eating right now, may I suggest that you put down your soup spoon or cabbage pie and [...]

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Thanks to a generous donation from a loyal reader, Casey H., we at Sovok of the Week can once again pay our electric bills and keep this ship afloat. I was even able to reclaim my word processor from the pawn shop next door, which means I no longer have to write all of [...]

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